Thinking backwards looking forwards

I seem to have been stuck in a rut over the last couple of months.  Since I got my brown belt at karate, I seem to have lost all motivation to keep going.  I could see that happening if I was a “badge collector” and had just got my black belt –  “Black belt in a martial art?” *tick the box* “OK, what’s next” – but it’s not like that.  

It almost feels claustrophobic. Every time I turn on the computer, there it is.  It’s not the people, for the most part I like them.  There’s a couple of them that I really get on with and socialise with outside of the club.  I’ve been going three times a week though, and I think I’ve hit a wall.  I need me time and I don’t feel I’m getting it.

This weekend, instead of going to karate on Saturday, if the weather is ok, I’m going up Ben Lomond.  I’ve never done a munro before, so this will be something for me. That I want to do.  This isn’t for anyone else other than me.

I’m also getting frustrated by all the “stuff” I’ve accumulated over the years – books, movies, etc.   I’ve always been a bit of a hoarder and found it hard to let go, to the point that I used to have a bag full of old tour shirts from gigs that I’d been at.  The majority were size M.  It’s many years since I’ve been a M.  I’m an L or XL now.  But for whatever reason, it hurt to get rind of them.  It was a bag full of memories.  Now, the memories aren’t going to go away just because a t-shirt goes to the charity shop, so why was it so hard to clear them out?  Why is it so hard to clear out now?

But I’ve made up my mind.  There’s a huge pile ready to go to the car boot sale or the charity shop or something.  The psychic baggage will hopefully clear out with all the clutter. 

That’s the backwards part.  Now what about the looking forward?

Well, I don’t carry my credit card with me any more unless I know I’m going to use it.  That way I have to think twice about impulse purchases.

I want to travel more, but in Scotland.  I love travelling abroad, but I’ve hardly seen anything of Scotland.  Furthest north I’ve been is Fort William.  I want to do some island hopping.  I want to see Callanish and Skara Brae.  I want to go to Up Helly Aa.  The main stumbling block is the cost.  Unfortunately it IS cheaper to travel abroad.  BUT, I will do these things.  I have a bucket list, and it doesn’t involve much travel abroad to complete.

So, clearing out, not hoarding, moving out the city, travelling up north.  That’s the objectives in my sights.

And getting a finer appreciation for single malts.  Let’s not forget that one.

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